All right folks

Commentary in red once again.

All right folks. Here it is, the long awaited sequel to TSC’s Grand Re-Opening:

The Marriage of Rolk-aro (a.k.a. Fake Chat mkII)

My god that was awful. XD

Especially given said marriage is not occurring for another six months afterwards.

I would prefer that this henceforth be referred to as Fake Chat mkII. I much prefer that name.

The story of our heroes and their eventual journey to the Convention continues in the second episode of the Conventional Trilogy!

Prologue: Let us pick up where Fake Chat #1 left off. In the middle of 2005 the TSC Convention was announced by Rolken, who was later found out to be cybrax. This was no ordinary cybrax either, this was an angsty cybrax searching for revenge for reasons unknown… Cybrax had attempted to bring down TSC from the inside – but why? Why destroy something he had worked so hard for for two years…?

These questions will be answered… at a later date, and DEFINITELY not in this chat. =P

Flash forward to the end of 2006, and festive cheer is in the air! This is where our tale begins…

* Now talking in #soniccenter

* Topic is “The Marriage Center – www.soniccenter.org – Where Rolken and flyby are tying the knot! And you’re all coming, whether you like it or not. | Words of the day: Rolkby/flyken

* Set by Rolken on Sun Dec 24 08:55:00

* ChanServ sets mode: +o mike89

Oddly enough, this sort of thing came up in the chat AFTER I began writing. Andy and I came up with Rolkby/flyken at exactly the same time, and it stuck.

<mike89> O_O

* mike89 does a double take

<mike89> …

<mike89> O_O

<Rolken> lawl

Hang on… isn’t Rolken cybrax? :o

Problem solved a page or so down.

<mike89> you guys like, didn’t tell me!

<mike89> I feel deprived :(

<Rolken> actually, I only released that information five minutes ago

<Rolken> half the people in here don’t know yet, lawl

<CosmicFalcon> …

<CosmicFalcon> FLYBY I STILL LOVE YOU

* CosmicFalcon flee~

* CosmicFalcon has quit IRC (Quit: oh well, there’s still emma. :D)

A take on CF’s two loves: flyby and Emma Watson. This is a major theme in the chat.

<RPG> XD

<flyby> haha

<mike89> XD, that’s in the topic

* mike89 changes topic to “The Marriage Center – www.soniccenter.org – Where Rolken and flyby are tying the knot! And you’re all coming, whether you like it or not. | Words of the day: Rolkby/flyken | * CosmicFalcon flee~”

<Rolken> I sent everyone an email regarding important information I was about to disclose

<Rolken> have you got it?

<mike89> …no

<mike89> did you send it to my Gmail address again?

mike89.tsc@gmail.com if you ever want to send stuff to it.

<Rolken> again?

<Rolken> when was the last time I did that?

<mike89> Fake Chat #1, I believe

<mike89> unless there was a time after that, but nothing important has happened between then and now so probably not

Hooray for 18 months of nothing important at all. X)

<RPG> Hang on, speaking of Fake Chat #1

<RPG> What happened in the whole you/cybrax thing?

<mike89> hang on, why do we call it Fake Chat #1 if it really happened? XD

<_> to trick people who might actually think that it wasn’t impossible enough to have happened

I can’t remember what inspired me to write this – I wrote this back in July or August when a second fake chat was in high demand. But I assume it had to do with the fact that I wanted this to follow on from the first.

Next page is just awesome. I love this part.

<Rolken> It was a matter of me being held hostage

<CherryMay> here we go again, with the survival story XD

<Rolken> cherry it’s not like any of your bullshit survival stories

<Rolken> this one actually HAPPENED

<CherryMay> XD

<mike89> RPG have you seriously not heard this story?

<RPG> for serious :o

<mike89> he’s recounted it like every day since he got out XD

<Rolken> so like, this guy came in the day before the events of fake chat #1

<Rolken> and threatened me and the other people around

<Rolken> he seemed to know me, which was crazy enough

<RPG> :o

<RPG> I wonder who it could be!

<mike89> shut up! Our leader is speaking :o

<Rolken> and, well, it was over for a while

<Rolken> but it didn’t stop there

<Rolken> he was basically stalking me the whole day

<Rolken> so as you can imagine, I was a bit worried sleeping that night

<Rolken> woke up the next day, and wondered why my neck hurt so much

<Rolken> I was CAGED, DAMMIT!

<Rolken> MADE TO LIVE IN A CAGE!

<Rolken> and then the rest is history, I suppose

<Rolken> but what you didn’t see after that

<Rolken> was that flyby had been trailing cybrax the whole time

<Rolken> so she knew exactly where I was

<Rolken> and ended up using martial arts skills I never knew she had to free me

Major plothole ftw?

<Rolken> and of course, I am forever grateful for that

* CherryMay cries

<CherryMay> how… touching

Yeah, the chances of getting this line out of Cherry are slim to nil. But I hardly expect any of the guys here to come out with a line like that, which leaves flyby and Cherry. Since flyby is the subject of the story, the rest writes itself.

<mike89> before I get all teary as well, when’s the big day?

<Rolken> 7^th of July

<AndrewJ> that date sounds awfully familiar…

<mike89> THE CONVENTION!!

<mike89> damnit, Rolk, we’ve been looking forward to that for a year and a half!

<mike89> you could’ve picked any other day…

Damn. How to get around this?

<Rolken> not really

<Rolken> we wanted it to be away from college

<Rolken> so that leaves, like, summer

<Rolken> and then of course I made plans to be around here during the convention, but for the rest of summer I’m elsewhere

<Spinballwizard> Why away from college Rolk?

<Rolken> so the only solution we could come up with was to drag y’all out here a few days earlier, have you attend the wedding, then all go back home

<Rolken> SBW: there’s a few annoying people I didn’t want to have to invite

<Rolken> well, more than a few, haha

Heh. =D

I know what that’s like… not necessarily with invitations to weddings but you catch the drift.

<mike89> actually, that’s a pretty good explanation

<RPG> well you know what that means

<RPG> flyby is obviously Ninja Girl.

* RPG shot

The line which inspired me to get writing again. The fact that CF had been trying to palm off this mysterious “ninjagirl” for a while but also liked flyby quite a lot made the irony just too good to leave out.

<CherryMay> XD!

<CherryMay> I am so telling CF that when he comes back in

<RPG> And for added effect

* RPG is now known as Emma_Watson

A rather old joke. CF never fell for it, of course.

<mike89> XD

<CherryMay> XD

<Spinballwizard> XD

* Spinballwizard is now known as SBW_Riders

<SBW_Riders> laters :o

<CherryMay> but he’ll know it’s you :(

<Emma_Watson> meh

* CosmicFalcon has joined #soniccenter

* ChanServ sets mode: +o CosmicFalcon

<CosmicFalcon> ZOMG EMMA!! <3<3<3

Or does he?

<CosmicFalcon> oh it’s just RPG being a twat

<Emma_Watson> Indeed

* Emma_Watson is now known as RPG

<CherryMay> CF you missed a very entertaining story!

<CosmicFalcon> was it Rolken with his survival story again?

<CosmicFalcon> how many times has he gone through that anyway? 19?

<Rolken> 22 you spoony bard D:

Because he’s been counting, you know.

Also “spoony bard” I had always assumed was CF’s line, but he informed me otherwise. The line therefore goes to it’s rightful owner.

<CherryMay> but WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

<CherryMay> we have deduced that flyby is actually ninjagirl!

<flyby> this is true

<CosmicFalcon> …

<CosmicFalcon> so you’re the one who I’ve been frantically trying to get rid of for the past year or so?

As stated above, this ninjagirl is someone that CF has not really wanted to be associated with. But he is (well, was) quite fond of flyby. So what decision does he make?

Of course he decides that flyby is evil and doesn’t like her any more. Ignoring the fact that CF (and obviously ninjagirl) is in Southampton and flyby is in Provo…

<CosmicFalcon> er I mean… I wasn’t meant to say that was I :x

<mike89> well let’s just say it’s not the best idea you’ve ever had

* CosmicFalcon all depressed

<CosmicFalcon> FLYBY I DON’T LOVE YOU ANY MORE

* CosmicFalcon has quit IRC (Quit: zomg)

<flyby> also for the record I am not ninjagirl

Just reiterating for those that didn’t get it the first time.

<CherryMay> we know XD

<RPG> But CF doesn’t XD

* CherryMay aways to play games!

<flyby> well I’m off for now

<flyby> bye kids

<RPG> Bai flyby :o

<mike89> bye~

* flyby has quit IRC (Quit: )

<Rolken> this is awesome

<Rolken> all we need is something really out-of-the-ordinary to happen

<Rolken> and then we can call it Fake Chat #2

A bit of a take on how the TSC community named Fake Chat #1 – namely, just because so much out-of-the-ordinary happened that nobody would ever believe it if it were simply put in the Chatroom Quotes topic.

<Rolken> sort of like this

* Rolken is now known as cybrax

* cybrax is now known as Rolken

<Rolken> …only not.

<Rolken> also what was that noise?

I wrote this in as I was getting towards the end to explain the happenings later on. It doesn’t mean much until much later.

<SBW_Riders> iono? :o

* SBW_Riders is now known as Spinballwizard

<mike89> well let’s at least pass the time until that happens

<mike89> to quote page 8:

<mike89> <RPG> you know there’s not been a great deal of TAing here today

<Rolken> we’re on page 4

<Rolken> RPG hasn’t said that yet.

Stole this from Jason Whalls’ second chat. To quote:

KevinBoo69: Lil Munkie 78: All I had to do was click "Mark All" and then "D'elete."
JWhalls64: He hasn't said that yet. In fact, he hasn't even entered the chat yet.
KevinBoo69: Oh shit. Nevermind that, then.

<mike89> …oh it would appear you are right

* mike89 confused :/

<mike89> in any case I am going to forget about my troubles

* mike89 goes off to TA!

<Rolken> what game? :o

<mike89> eh, whatever I feel like playing, maybe some Sonic 3

<mike89> laters

* Zizou_SCD has joined #soniccenter

For those who have been living under a rock, the Sonic Cage Dome was a community that formed in the middle of 2005, with Zizou as its leader. They hosted an event called the Sonic Olympics, which we won (or did we? This explored below). Rolken even won a T-shirt for our efforts. X)

<mike89> …no, never mind, I think we might be in for something here

<Zizou_SCD> Sprin

<RPG> t

<Zizou_SCD> Suck my large penis

<Zizou_SCD> :)

<_> That’s getting logged.

Exact quote:

<[SCD] Zizou w/ PRIDE> Sprin
<[TSC]ARRPEEGEE> t
* [#0 Helper] Chaos Hyper Sonic joined the partyline!
<[SCD] Zizou w/ PRIDE> Suck my large penis
<[TSC]ARRPEEGEE> :O.
<[#0 Helper] Chaos Hyper Sonic> O_O
<[TSC] SadisticMystic> That's getting logged.
<[TSC]ARRPEEGEE> XD!
<Sprint> now who's being insulting

<_> it was anyway, but never mind that

<RPG> XD!

<RPG> also large? Not likely.

* Zizou_SCD was kicked by Sprint (I’d rather not, thanks)

<Rolken> o_o

* SpinDashMaster has joined #soniccenter

SpinDashMaster was SCD’s star player in the aforementioned Sonic Olympics. He was my major (and by the end of the week, only) competitor in the Sonic 2 Marathon event. I still beat him by a whole seven minutes. =D

<SpinDashMaster> I see mike89 is here, can I speak to him?

<Rolken> I wouldn’t expect him to be back for a while

<mike89> don’t worry, I’m still around

<mike89> what do you want?

<SpinDashMaster> I’m sure you remember the first Sonic Olympics event last year?

<mike89> …yes, what about it?

<SpinDashMaster> well, I’m here to inform you that Zizou has once again decided that your run is null and void, and that we actually won.

Zizou spent four hours arguing with SM over the result of my run – SCD claimed that I had cheated for a host of reasons, all of which were bullshit. The fact of the matter is I beat them fair and square, and they just couldn’t accept it. Accentuated here by the fact that, a year on, they’re still arguing about it.

<mike89> WHAT?

<SpinDashMaster> Oh, and Rolken – that means we’ll be needing the T-shirt back.

<Rolken> I’ve had it for a year, I wear it every so often, are you SURE you want it back?

<mike89> don’t give it back to him! We won fair and square!

<SpinDashMaster> Rolken, I’m afraid it’s the principle, and Zizou did ask for it back, so…

<Rolken> well why don’t you tell Zizou to come fight his own fight?

<SpinDashMaster> he’s rather upset at the moment…

<SpinDashMaster> I suppose it makes sense though, but I might stick around and talk strats with mike89 until he decides to come back

I would probably react far more harshly than I did if that happened.

<mike89> …

<mike89> after that, you expect me to talk strats?

* mike89 aways to play Sonic 3

* Zizou_SCD has joined #soniccenter

<Zizou_SCD> what is it now, guys?

<Rolken> we should be asking you that

<Rolken> why on earth would you reverse the result of a contest that’s been left alone for a year?

<Zizou_SCD> because after we finished this year’s event we took another look at your rules
<Zizou_SCD> and it turns out that you imposed a rule that prevented Mike’s run from winning

While I never reveal what this rule is, it was claimed that multiple rules had conspired against me. The fact of the matter is that all said rules were enacted AFTER my run was complete.

<Rolken> and that would be?

* Zizou_SCD has quit IRC (Ping timeout)

<Rolken> SDM, do you know what it was?

<SpinDashMaster> hey, hey, no shooting the messenger!

<Rolken> well, do you or not?

* SpinDashMaster has quit IRC (Ping timeout)

<Rolken> …

* Zizou_SCD has joined #soniccenter

<Rolken> I don’t care, this T-shirt is mine fair and square

<Rolken> I’m not giving it back

<Zizou_SCD> Well, if that’s how you want to be…

<Zizou_SCD> But be warned, we have contacts far surpassing what you can imagine…

<Zizou_SCD> and don’t forget, I still have your address

<Rolken> oh, I’m so scared.

* Zizou_SCD has quit IRC (Quit: MWAHAHAHAHA)

I don’t know why, but I love this part. Simple yet effective.

* stupidghost has joined #soniccenter

Ghost (aka xebra) is one of the biggest assholes we’ve come across at our time at the Sonic Center – having said that his ability on Sonic 1 is second to none. He was shunned by the community in early 2004, so why he comes back in late 2006 is anyone’s guess. =D

<Rolken> w.t.f.

<stupidghost> I have a surprise for you all

<stupidghost> particularly the one you call CF

<Sprint> you’re a moron?

<Sprint> no wait, that’s no surprise

* CosmicFalcon has joined #soniccenter

* ChanServ sets mode: +o CosmicFalcon

The beautiful thing about this chat is I can manipulate timing however I like. In some cases timing is really good, and other times it’s really bad (sometimes both depending which side you’re on).

<stupidghost> you’re just in time~

<CosmicFalcon> what on earth is going on today

* stupidghost is now known as Emma_Watson

<CosmicFalcon> oh, NOT YOU TOO

<RPG> XD

<mike89> ghost, you sure have done your homework, but this is bloody lame.

<_> IP doesn’t match any TSCers

<_> even Ghost

<Emma_Watson> that’s right

<Emma_Watson> because it’s me!

…

Unfortunately I can’t enter my own … because allegedly, I’m off playing Sonic 3.

<Rolken> …

<Sprint> …

<CosmicFalcon> …

<RPG> are you trying to tell us that -the- Emma Watson is the best Sonic 1 player in the world?

<CosmicFalcon> more like are you trying to tell me that -the- Emma Watson is here to see me amirite.

<Emma_Watson> RPG: no, those times were BS. I mean, 46 seconds for Scrap Brain 2? Not a chance!

Another one of my favourite lines. Emma Watson talking about Sonic games, wtf?

<Emma_Watson> er, I mean, say what? >_>

<_<

<Emma_Watson> CF: yes. And I look damn good in a dress too :P

<CosmicFalcon> word.

RPG suggested this one to me. I didn’t really want to use it because it makes very little sense, but I went along with it because I couldn’t think of anything better.

* mike89 scrolls up

<mike89> …damnit, WHAT DID I MISS?

<mike89> well Rolken, I think this is worthy of enough strangeness to consider this Fake Chat #2

<mike89> what do you say?

<Rolken> without a doubt XD

Just linking back to earlier.

<Emma_Watson> well, CF, I’m in Southampton at the moment, so…

<CosmicFalcon> yes I would be honoured to meat you

<CosmicFalcon> I mean meet you.

I’m not sure if this is my absolute favourite line, but it’s damn close even if it’s not. RPG said he’d sue me if I didn’t use this, but I didn’t dare get rid of it anyway just because it’s that cool.

<Emma_Watson> I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that… and invite you here anyway

<CosmicFalcon> I get the feeling this is going to be the best Christmas ever

<Emma_Watson> Me too…

* CosmicFalcon has quit IRC (Quit: be there ASAP)

<Emma_Watson> …he doesn’t know where to go yet!

<mike89> XD

<RPG> XD

* CosmicFalcon has joined #soniccenter

* ChanServ sets mode: +o CosmicFalcon

<CosmicFalcon> wait where am I going XD

<CosmicFalcon> zomg PM

<CosmicFalcon> okay I’m really off!

* CosmicFalcon has quit IRC (Quit: ZOMG EMMA <3<3<3)

<RPG> little does he know…

This is more of a take on RPG giving me ideas for this than anything else.

<mike89> little does he know what?

<RPG> …oh, nothing.

<RPG> I was just building suspense.

<mike89> come on RPG, you know something about this…

<RPG> no, I don’t, honestly.

<Sprint> Golden Rule #1:

<Sprint> Whenever someone says something along the lines of “honestly, seriously, truthfully etc.” they are blatantly lying.

<Sprint> Made more obvious if more than one such term is used in the same sentence.

Not sure on what the exact wording was, but you can get the gist of it just from that.

<Sprint> Therefore I conclude RPG knows exactly what is going on

<RPG> no, really and truly, I don’t!

<Sprint> you’re only further disproving your point

<RPG> blah

* RPG shuts up and says nothing.

* Emma_Watson hears a knock at the door

<Emma_Watson> that must be him!

<mike89> :O

* Emma_Watson is now known as CosmicFalcon

<CosmicFalcon> hello I have arrived!

<CosmicFalcon> and I am entirely in heaven.

* CosmicFalcon aways to um… er… yeah.

At this point you can let your imagination do the rest.

* CosmicFalcon is now known as CFxEmma

<CFxEmma> goodnight!

* CherryMay returns

<CherryMay> what on earth has happened here.

Oh what a shame, Cherry, you missed the best part. :(

<Rolken> CF has found his true calling

<Rolken> I wouldn’t expect him to be back for a while

<Rolken> but when he does I imagine some grilling will be in order from yourself

<CherryMay> indeed!

<Sprint> mmm… grill…

I come back to this later. It’s just such a typical Sprint joke – he is normally noted for his wit but often pulls really bad jokes out of his hat as well.

<RPG> XD

* AndrewJ has joined #soniccenter

Andy (HI ANDREW!!) deliberately enters here because it’s well known that he has a higher games-per-week ratio than anyone else at #soniccenter.

And if you don’t get the bit in parentheses, then stop reading now since you won’t get much else.

<mike89> well with it being Christmas Eve and all

<mike89> what’s everyone getting?

<RPG> why, a PS3 and Sonic of course :o

<AndrewJ> Revo and all the launch titles

The above proven here. Lucky bastard.

<mike89> …

<CherryMay> …

<Rolken> …

<CherryMay> I am getting a few X360 games but that is just like any other week :(

<CherryMay> and at that

* CherryMay aways again!

* CFxEmma is now known as CosmicFalcon

<Rolken> heh.

<mike89> how convenient…

<CosmicFalcon> yes we are just having a break

<CosmicFalcon> I will be gone again soon enough

<Rolken> well at least let me quickly ask

* CosmicFalcon away!

* CosmicFalcon is now known as CFxEmma

<Rolken> …

* CherryMay bored

<CherryMay> also damn just missed him again :(

In the space of a few minutes, that’s THREE instances of timing abuse, and all favouring CF.

<Rolken> D:

<Rolken> also where were we

<Rolken> oh Christmas presents

<Rolken> eh flyby is keeping mine a surprise :o

At the very end you find this out. :o

<RPG> you know there’s not been a great deal of TAing here today

<RPG> I might go off and play now

<RPG> But first

<RPG> Time for another instalment of…

<RPG> RPGNUTTER’S CONFESSIONS (tm)

Two of RPG’s random acts in one: firstly, RPGNUTTER’S CONFESSIONS (tm) became a staple of the chat, and secondly his monologuing problem. In this episode he speaks of his inability to control his love for Billie Joe Armstrong.

<RPG> With your host, Some Random Host Guy!

<RPG> (host) So, RPGnutter, what’s your confession for this week?

<RPG> (RPG) Well, Host, I’m a Green Day addict, I even sing in this very chatroom!

<RPG> I need to learn to control myself!

<RPG> I mean, I even DRESS and ACT like Billie Joe!

<RPG> What’s up with that?

<RPG> I mean

<RPG> I don’t really wanna be an American Idiot

<RPG> But he rawks.

<RPG> (host) What a sad story… Join us next week for another instalment of RPGNUTTER’S CONFESSIONS (tm)!!!

<_> C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!

Stolen from a real chat, but during that one SM was on the other end. Transcript:

<_> 1
<_> 2
<_> 3
<_> 4
<_> 5
(90 lines removed to save space)
<_> 96
<_> 97
<_> 98
<_> 99
<_> 100
<_> and 101 for good measure
<DaleG> interruption!
<_> no, I was done at 101

Also the C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!! line has been used to break an RPG monologue before.

<CherryMay> …

* RPG was kicked by CherryMay (nobody likes a monologuer :()

* RPG has joined #soniccenter

<RPG> D:

* CherryMay is now known as Cherry\Away

<Cherry\Away> I’d best go to sleep :(

The perfect foil…

<mike89> night :o

<RPG> Bai Cherry

<Rolken> night :o

* CFxEmma is now known as CosmicFalcon

More manipulation of timing – this is too easy!

<CosmicFalcon> back again

<CosmicFalcon> and I see I have missed cherry again XD

<mike89> that way it would seem

<Cherry\Away> or not!

Aha! Caught by surprise!

* Cherry\Away ready this time!

<Cherry\Away> so tell me what on earth has happened!

<CosmicFalcon> I… er… um…

<CosmicFalcon> fulfilled my lifelong dream.

I wouldn’t be surprised if that really was his lifelong dream. =P

<Cherry\Away> o rly?

<CosmicFalcon> ya rly.

<Cherry\Away> well then.

<Cherry\Away> I suppose all is settled then.

* Cherry\Away away again!

<Rolken> …

<Rolken> cherry do you call that a grilling.

* RPG has quit IRC (Ping timeout)

<Sprint> I WANT MY STEAK!

Revisiting the crappy joke from earlier.

Also RPG pings out at this precise moment as a lead-in to the next part (again, timing abuse to the max).

* CHARLIE has joined #soniccenter

Charlie = RPG’s girlfriend. RPG gave me the basics for writing in this character, and I think I followed them pretty well. Of course, I didn’t need her to say much, just to be kicked out at the perfect time. =D

<CHARLIE> HELLO!

<CHARLIE> IS DAN HERE?

<mike89> sorry, you just missed him.

<CHARLIE> OKAY I’LL COME BACK LATER

* CHARLIE was kicked by Sprint (YOU HAVE LOWERCASE LETTERS FOR A REASON)

I’m told this was necessary because most of Charlie’s lowercase letters are set to MSN custom emoticons. I’ll take RPG’s word on that one.

<mike89> XD

* RPG has joined #soniccenter

<RPG> Hey, did Charlie drop by?

<mike89> yeah, sprint just kicked her out

<RPG> D:

<mike89> she should be back any second now…

* RPG has quit IRC (Ping timeout)

Another most convenient ping.

* Charlie has joined #soniccenter

<CosmicFalcon> well I’m off again

<CosmicFalcon> bye!

* CosmicFalcon is now known as CFxEmma

<Charlie> What about now?

<mike89> just missed him again

<Charlie> That sucks!

<Charlie> I’ll wait around for him then

* Charlie was kicked by Sprint (hang on, I think RPG’s coming back)

Possibly my favourite line. We’re just messing with them now. :D

* RPG has joined #soniccenter

<mike89> * Charlie was kicked by Sprint (hang on, I think RPG’s coming back)

<RPG> …

<RPG> this isn’t funny

* RPG has quit IRC (Ping timeout)

* Charlie has joined #soniccenter

<mike89> missed him again

<RPG> …

* RPG has joined #soniccenter

This was inspired by an AIM conversation RPG and I had once. It’s still in his TSC sig if you want to see it, but I may as well post it here anyway:

mike89mkscelite: DSSiviter signed off at 7:10:42 PM.
DSSiviter: ...
DSSiviter signed on at 7:10:46 PM.
mike89mkscelite: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT
DSSiviter: XD
DSSiviter: I'M WINNER!

I still don’t know how the fuck he did that. =P

<mike89> HOW THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT

<Charlie> DAN!!!

<RPG> XD

<RPG> I’M WINNER!

<RPG> also CHARLIE!!!

<Rolken> JAY!!!

<Rolken> I mean what.

<RPG> damnit, I have to go sleep now D:

Further convenience.

<mike89> laters bro~

<Charlie> aww!!

* RPG has quit IRC (Quit: I’M THE SON OF RAGE AND LOVE~ THE JESUS OF SUBURBIA~)

<Charlie> byebye da—damnit.

<Charlie> Well I guess I’ll be off too

<Charlie> goodnight everyone!

* Charlie has quit IRC (Quit: )

* CFxEmma is now known as CosmicFalcon

<CosmicFalcon> well mike I’d say that was pretty good filler

It was, wasn’t it? :)

<mike89> …

* CosmicFalcon was kicked by mike89 (damn you and your dramatic irony)

* CosmicFalcon has joined #soniccenter

* ChanServ sets mode: +o CosmicFalcon

* CosmicFalcon was kicked by mike89 (or lack of)

* CosmicFalcon has joined #soniccenter

* ChanServ sets mode: +o CosmicFalcon

<CosmicFalcon> you fool

<CosmicFalcon> it’s called BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL

So CF calls dramatic irony breaking the fourth wall. So?

<mike89> whatever :(

<CosmicFalcon> also emma wants a turn here

<CosmicFalcon> I give you… Emma Watson! (you can commence applause)

<mike89> *crickets*

<Sprint> put that bat away

Cricket… bat? Get it? LOLOLOL PWN’D.

<mike89> D:

* CosmicFalcon is now known as flyby

And now the true secret is revealed! Emma was flyby all along! :O

<flyby> er… probably shouldn’t have done that

* flyby is now known as Emma_Watson

Yeah, like that’s going to help you now. =P

More filler coming up.

<Rolken> wait what.

<Rolken> is that really you.

<Emma_Watson> yes it is me.

<Rolken> …

<Rolken> you cheated on me with CF OF ALL PEOPLE?!?

<Rolken> come on that kid is ugly++ :(

<Emma_Watson> I never thought so :o

<Rolken> and come on, he’s BRITISH

<Emma_Watson> hey I like the british accent, so sue me

Stole this one from the forum:

Andy: But when you're talking about myself or mike (South Australian and NSW respectively) we have relatively plain accents, that American chicks dig ;)

RPG: Heh, apparently American chicks dig British accents too :o

* Rolken sues flyby.

<Rolken> expect your letter in the mail within five working days

<Emma_Watson> :(

<Emma_Watson> well I don’t care, I have made my decision, I love CF.

<Rolken> well FINE.

* Emma_Watson was kicked by Rolken (we don’t need to know about your antics any more)

<Rolken> rarr.

<mike89> I think I’ll copy/paste from page 4 just for emphasis

<mike89> <CosmicFalcon> FLYBY I DON’T LOVE YOU ANY MORE

More references to page numbers. At least this time it had actually been said.

<Rolken> well I guess I need time to collect my thoughts

* Rolken has quit IRC (Quit: :o)

<mike89> :o indeed.

* Rolken has joined #soniccenter

* ChanServ sets mode: +o Rolken

<mike89> you were only gone a minute

<Rolken> yeah that was all I needed, I’m fine now

<Rolken> but I can’t really tell my survival story again with the same passion can I now :(

<mike89> I do not know that this is a bad thing!

I intended to create the impression that we were sick of that story. Hopefully I did that well.

<Rolken> <_<

* CosmicFalcon has joined #soniccenter

* ChanServ sets mode: +o CosmicFalcon

<CosmicFalcon> alright I am back home now

<Rolken> damnit CF

<Rolken> how could you?

<CosmicFalcon> well how was I meant to know it was flyby?

<CosmicFalcon> I’ve never seen her before!

<Rolken> well firstly did you believe in your right mind that it really was emma.

<CosmicFalcon> no.

<CosmicFalcon> I mean yes.

People will do crazy things… :)

<Rolken> …

<Rolken> okay next question

<Rolken> how on earth did flyby get to Southampton that quickly?

<CosmicFalcon> no idea really

<CosmicFalcon> I guess she really wanted to see me X)

<Rolken> damnit I’m going to seriously hurt her

<CosmicFalcon> no! I won’t let you!

* CosmicFalcon was kicked by Rolken (GET OUT OF MY WAY)

* CosmicFalcon has joined #soniccenter

* ChanServ sets mode: +o CosmicFalcon

<CosmicFalcon> …

<mike89> I sense a serious argument coming on…

<AndrewJ> OOH OOH I WANNA ARGUE TOO

Taking a stab at Andy because the popular perception is that he is quite argumentative.

<CosmicFalcon> …okay.

* Cherry\Away is now known as CherryMay

And bringing Cherry back because she’s the one Andy almost always argues with.

* CherryMay back!

<AndrewJ> well y’see the Revo is far superior to the other systems

<AndrewJ> just look at these specs

* AndrewJ was kicked by CherryMay (I’d rather not)

* AndrewJ has joined #soniccenter

<CherryMay> but on that note, the specs are well and truly in favour of the PS3

<AndrewJ> but it’s not the specs that matter!

<AndrewJ> the fact of the matter is that the Revo has far better games than the PS3 could ever offer

<AndrewJ> and the specs back this up

Unfortunately I don’t have the appropriate log, but Andy did really say something along these lines (though much more spread out). It was along the same lines: “specs don’t matter” “owait yes they do” “er did I say that? Of course they don’t”

<CherryMay> …

<AndrewJ> and as for the Microsoft X360…

<GerbilSoft> did someone say Microsoft?

<GerbilSoft> linux linux ms linux

Gerbil talks far too much about Linux. He therefore gets this one-liner.

* GerbilSoft was kicked by Sprint (no. nobody said Microsoft.)

* GerbilSoft has joined #soniccenter

<GerbilSoft> fu

And this one-liner.

* SnK23 has joined #soniccenter

* SnK23 was kicked by mike89 (NO, THIS CAN’T END YET!)

A take on how I ended the last one. Coincidentally, it occurs at about eleven pages, just like the first one.

<Rolken> X)

<Rolken> I’m pro this continuing for as long as there’s good material

I hate dramatic irony. Hence my fake chats have next to none.

* cybrax has joined #soniccenter

<_> wtf?

<_> I thought cybrax was banned a year and a half ago

<cybrax> you thought wrong!

<cybrax> I’m back to terrorise TSC once more!

<cybrax> starting with your precious convention

* Rolken sets mode: +b *brax*@*.*

* cybrax was kicked by Rolken (what convention?)

<Rolken> who unbanned him?

* Sprint checks the logs

<Sprint> …

<Sprint> * mike89 sets mode: -b *brax*@*.*

Yeah, like I would do that. I HAVE BEEN FRAMED, I SAY!! FRAMED!!!

Thankfully, I was right.

<mike89> WTF?!?

<mike89> I swear on my life that wasn’t me

<mike89> he tried to kill Rolken! I would never let him back!

<Sprint> ah, mike, you’re in luck

<Sprint> * zacy has joined #soniccenter

<Sprint> * zacy is now known as mike89

<mike89> should’ve known

<Sprint> heh

* goalie has joined #soniccenter

* prcorby89 has joined #soniccenter

* formarfan has joined #soniccenter

* Marcelo has joined #soniccenter

In collaboration with CF and RPG, I present to you… the Four Noobs of the Apocalypse!

Each of these four has proved to be a liar, an idiot, or both. (In most cases, both.)

There were more candidates, but these four stood out above the rest.

<Rolken> O_O

<_> WTF

<prcorby89> how did you know that zacy was the password?

<formarfan> yes. the name of our leader was enough to compel us to this place

<mike89> …my brother… your LEADER?

<goalie> too right

<Marcelo> MOMENTT!

Apparently Marcelo’s only line.

<CosmicFalcon> ZOMG THE FOUR NOOBS OF THE APOCALYPSE

* goalie was kicked by CosmicFalcon (now u r died)

* prcorby89 was kicked by CosmicFalcon (now u r died)

* formarfan was kicked by CosmicFalcon (now u r died)

* Marcelo was kicked by CosmicFalcon (now u r died)

To quote RPG’s RPG, TSC Adventure:

<Marcelo> MOMENTT!!

<Marcelo> Now u r died.

<CosmicFalcon> wow, that was close

* HCC has joined #soniccenter

<HCC> new discovery on Wing Fortress

<HCC> I found a glitch that skips the entire end cutscene

<HCC> I got 55 seconds

<Rolken> …

<mike89> …

* HCC was kicked by Sprint (must’ve been a glitch)

Another one of my favourites. I stole this one from Whalls too. To quote:

David Wonn: "David Wonn is a glitch finder extraordinaire!" - David Wonn, tellin' it like it is 3 seconds ago.
JWhalls64: Okay Wonn, that's enough.
David Wonn: Proof.
JWhalls64: Uh...I didn't say "What?" You don't seem to have picked up on the pattern here...
David Wonn: That I am a glitch finder extraordinaire.
JWhalls64: Alright, I've had enough.
David Wonn has been kicked from the room by JWhalls64 (Must've been a glitch)

<mike89> and just on the subject of cheaters/liars/n00bs of the apocalypse

<mike89> where’d they run off to, anyway?

<mike89> I feel like a fight…

<mike89> it’s sort of handy that their leader lives in the same house as me though

<mike89> however that leaves me considerably less inclined to kill him

<mike89> as I can’t see any way out of the situation once I’ve done the deed

<Rolken> true D:

<_> I’ll do it

<Rolken> …how?

<_> the element of surprise will be more than enough

* mike89 hears a loud BZZZAP

This sort of reveals the whole flyby, CF, Rolk, everyone else here thing. Now we know how flyby got to Southampton in a matter of minutes!

<mike89> okay it appears SM is here and with ample weaponry

<Rolken> how are we defining ample?

<mike89> that stack of cream pies is mighty large

<Rolken> SM’s going to kill your brother with CREAM PIES?

SM had a stage recently which had to do with surprise pies to the face. This naturally, would look quite funny – though I’m not sure Mark would see the funny side to it.

<mike89> eh, even if he doesn’t, he’ll look pretty damn funny

<mike89> I’m filming the entire thing

<mike89> if said tape “leaks” through to the noobs of the apocalypse, they’re bound to lose respect for him

<Rolken> quite the adept plan X)

<mike89> that’s because it was SM’s idea

<mike89> he even brought the camcorder

I have a camcorder, but I doubt I’d be able to get it without drawing attention.

<Rolken> hey wait

<Rolken> did you say BZZZAP?

<Rolken> because I think flyby exited this very room a couple of hours ago in a very similar manner

<Rolken> which explains how she got to Southampton so fast

<Rolken> but it also means that flyby shares some of SM’s uber mind powers

<Rolken> could they be… estranged brother and sister?

:O?!?!?

Find out (possibly but not likely) in Fake Chat the Third!

<mike89> you’d have to check on that

<mike89> I wouldn’t ask either of them either – might not be good for them

<Rolken> how else do you expect me to find out?

<mike89> iono?

<_> BZZZAP

<mike89> ha, mark’s twitching on the floor

<mike89> with cream pie all over his face

* mike89 still recording

<mike89> man I can’t wait till word of this gets out

* mike89 uploads

* goalie has joined #soniccenter

* prcorby89 has joined #soniccenter

* formarfan has joined #soniccenter

* Marcelo has joined #soniccenter

<prcorby89> ROLEPLAY TIME!!!

<goalie> I have an idea

<formarfan> let’s all be sonic characters

<Marcelo> momentt

* goalie is now known as Sonic

<Sonic> I’m the coolest!

* prcorby89 is now known as Tails

<Tails> Wait for me, Sonic!

* formarfan is now known as Knuckles

<Knuckles> I must… protect… the Master Emerald…

* Marcelo is now known as Amy

<Amy> momentt

<Amy> uh…

<Amy> Marry me, Sonic!

* Sonic has quit IRC (Killed (NickServ (GHOST command used by _)

* Tails has quit IRC (Killed (NickServ (GHOST command used by _)

* Knuckles has quit IRC (Killed (NickServ (GHOST command used by _)

* Amy has quit IRC (Killed (NickServ (GHOST command used by _)

Yes, SM has all of these Sonic characters linked to his name.

<_> YES!

<CosmicFalcon> morons.

* goalie has joined #soniccenter

* prcorby89 has joined #soniccenter

* formarfan has joined #soniccenter

* Marcelo has joined #soniccenter

<Rolken> we are NOT roleplayers kthxbai.

<mike89> oh, and I highly suggest you visit here:

<mike89> www.soniccenter.org/mike89/zacyvid.avi

My mysterious vid. Unfortunately, it doesn’t really exist. :(

<goalie> LOOK ZACY

<prcorby89> we must view this vid

<formarfan> and revel in his greatness

<Marcelo> momentt

* goalie was kicked by mike89 (SUCKERS!!)

* prcorby89 was kicked by mike89 (same number lol)

* formarfan was kicked by mike89 (ZOMG SPAM)

* Marcelo was kicked by mike89 (your vocabulary are a shit)

* goalie has joined #soniccenter

* prcorby89 has joined #soniccenter

* formarfan has joined #soniccenter

* Marcelo has joined #soniccenter

* sonicam has joined #soniccenter

This one is bad timing. Sonicam, one of them? Not likely, but not impossible. :o

<goalie> I can’t believe what I just saw…

<prcorby89> our great leader defeated by the likes of you?

<formarfan> as of now, the noobs of the apocalypse are DISBANDED

<Marcelo> MOMENTT

<prcorby89> WOULD YOU QUIT SAYING THAT?

I found this one pretty funny. The fact that they would get angry with each other made not much sense.

<Marcelo> oh… er…

<Marcelo> now we r leave.

* goalie has quit IRC (Quit: my SPA are broke’d, serious!)

* prcorby89 has quit IRC (Quit: I shall write a bitchy article on amazon.com for this!)

* formarfan has quit IRC (Quit: OHSNAP THE GESTAPO)

* Marcelo has quit IRC (Quit: this site are a shit!)

<mike89> sonicam, you’re with them? O_o

<sonicam> no, I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. :o

<mike89> fair enough

<mike89> well unfortunately you missed all the fun :(

He always misses out on the fun. :(

<sonicam> as usual. D:

<mike89> well now to get things remotely back to normal.

<mike89> has everything been sorted out?

And now to conclude.

<mike89> let me see… we disbanded the noobs of the apocalypse, we re-banned Cybrax and HCC… wait, no we didn’t

* mike89 sets mode: +b *HCC*@*.*

<mike89> and all this before Christmas day!

<Rolken> well there’s still a small issue with CF that I need to sort out

<CosmicFalcon> and that would be?

<Rolken> bring flyby back to Provo

<Rolken> that would be the best Christmas present of all…

Aww, I love happy endings. :D

<CosmicFalcon> she’s the one that does that crazy mind stuff, not me!

<Rolken> this is true, I suppose

<Rolken> flyby, if you’re there, please come back…

<CosmicFalcon> BZZZAP

<Rolken> :D :D :D

<mike89> okay, NOW is everything back to normal?

<Rolken> looks like it

* Rolken sleep

* CosmicFalcon also

<mike89> okay, NOW it can end

<mike89> merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

* mike89 has quit IRC (Quit: LONG LIVE THE SONIC CENTER!!)

My Sonic Olympics battle cry.

Until next time… MWAHAHAhahahahaha…

A couple of notes on what I would have liked to add on:

Firstly I was planning to use one particular gag where Sprint, CF and Cherry would all be watching TV and make the same observation at the same time. This one was killed off due to lack of timestamps – it’s just not as good without them.

Another one included using a recent character by the name of Destructo2000 who claimed pretty much every Sonic 1 and Sonic 3 record. We then called him into the chat and he claimed that he couldn’t record videos. He was promptly deleted. Of course, having this goes against the lack-of-TA theme.

This entire thing took me a lot longer than expected. I was tossing around starting ideas but coming up with nothing, and the first two pages were what I was left with for quite a while. RPG suggested that flyby was ninjagirl upon reading over it again, and the rest began writing itself. In full, it’s 16 pages and over 4000 words long – considerably longer than my first effort.

Click here to read the commentary.

That’s all for this time. The Conventional Trilogy will conclude… when I feel like writing the conclusion. =D