[Stefan]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/You_have_two_cows/17


Commence the hilarity.

[Spinballwizard]

You have two Miltanks.

[ChaoRC]

 

DragonballZism
    You have OVER 9000 cows.

Many of those were completely hilarious. 

[Taillow]

Baten Kaitos: "You have two Pows. You wonder what has science done to create Pig-Cow monstrosity"

Heh.  I thought they were natural in the game.

[eggFL]

Sonic the Hedgehog
 You have two cows. But that alone is insufficient.

[Taillow]

That's not in the link, Egg.  However, if we're making stuff up...

Shadow the Hedgehog
You have two cows.  You know where a third is, but where is that DAMN fourth cow?

EDIT: Wait, there's multiple pages of them?  There's a Sonic the Hedgehog one in the video games section, and it's pretty funny.

"You have two cows. Like everything else on the planet apparently, they can spindash for no immediately obvious reason."

EDIT 2: Drat!  They already have a Shadow one along those lines!

Also, if you do look in the video games ones, there are spoilers.

[Crowbar]

Text Based Adventure Games (3)
    You are standing in a green field, facing a white house. You see two cows.

You are eaten by a grue.

FUCKING LOL'D.

[EDIT] The Youtube ones are pretty funny, too.

[eggFL]

yea Quartz I made it up. Plus I didn't even realize there was more pages of cow jokes. Some good ones too.

And yea, nice Shadow cow joke, even though it's the exact same joke we all thought of. (edit: oh and it's already been put up)

aanyway when I came to post I initially was going to take one of the worst cow jokes on the page and quote it just to show how lame some of them are. I think this was it:

Nazism
    The government shoots you and takes your two cows!!

granted, many of them are pretty funny. and hurray for videogame and anime cow jokes

Big O
You have two cows. You get into your Big O to fight another giant robot. Tomatoes???!!!

Chobits
    You have two cows. One of the cows finds a hot female artificial cow in the trash and takes it home. He turns it on and they subsequently fall in love. But it's okay, because the artificial cow has real feelings and it's not like he took home a used, overpriced cow RealDoll.

Galaxy Express 999
    You are an independent orphan boy who dreams of having two cows. And so you embark upon an adventure. You ride a space tractor with a Matsumoto blonde. The voyage turns you from a boy into a man before you've even hit puberty. On the voyage, you learn how much it sucks to have two cows. You see what it does to people and how much they regret it. So you decide to destroy the planet where cows are made. Little do you realize that the blonde you've been traveling with is... a farmer!!!

Hamtaro
    You have two cows. They are out in the field - WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THOSE HAMSTERS, THEY'RE TALKING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Naruto
    You have two cows. Nobody likes Naruto.

Neon Genesis Evangelion
    You have two giant robotic cows. You make your mental-disorder-guidebook children ride in their stomachs to save the world. The cows turn out to not really be robotic. One gets BSE and starts eating other cows. The other cow accidentally attacks and kills the plot. The plot dies. Nothing makes sense anymore. Cattle fanatics praise it as the best bovine-related anime of all time.

Moo-Gi-Oh!
    Two cows duel each other. In the middle of the duel a third cow delivers a long friendship speech. The second cow makes some snarky comment giving the first cow the opportunity to rearrange his deck and win by 'the Heart of the Cards.' An American company edits out the knife fights and udder jokes.

X
    You have two cows. After a bunch of confusing dream sequences, they both die. You're not sure exactly what happened, but think that you should probably feel sad.

games:

EA
    You have one cow named John Mooden. People like Mooden and start buying his milk for $50 a gallon. You realize that Mooden has sold millions of gallons of milk. You buy all the other cows in your area, who have been selling less popular, higher quality milk and force them to turn out sour milk at a rate they are not accustomed to. When the a cow's milk does not sell, you shoot the cow and buy another one. Soon the milk drinking community hates your guts but continues to buy your milk because its the only milk on the market.

Harvest Moon
    In this game, you actually have two cows. They do normal cow-like things. Damn cows.

Katamari Damacy
    You have two cows. You also have three policemen, two turtledoves (I wont finish that joke), The Sistine Chapel, a crapload of igloos, some kind of random chickeny type thing and ?! Who's this now?? Why, it's second cousin Daisy! Good God, Daisy. do stop getting in the way. You later turn them all into stardust to see the pretty lightshow. You are far too easily amused.

Mario Kart Double Dash!
    You have two cows. One is trying to drive while the other just presses 'L and R' to throw you off course.

Mario Kart DS
    You have two cows. One of them snakes to victory and calls snaking legitimate. The other makes up excuses like how it's only supposed to be done on corners and how it's cheating because he doesn't know how to snake. They take it to GameFAQs and argue their way to a 500-post topic within minutes.

Need For Speed Underground
    Yo dog, you got two cows. You put some chrome horns, decals, and the works on those babies.

Super Smash Bros. Melee
    You have two cows. You get frowned upon because they aren't top-tier cows, you play with items on, and you pick arenas that aren't Final Destination.

Tetris DS
    You have three Japanese cows, and one American cow. The Japanese cows team up on the American cow.

although yea, many of them are just awful...

also my Sonic one should be up there.

[Spinballwizard]

Also, if you do look in the video games ones, there are spoilers.

You have two cows. Aeris dies.

[Pokemonmaster888]

These are pretty funny, especially for the Tetris based one, about the two cows needing to be different shapes.

[CosmicFalcon]

PlayStation 3
You have two cows. One has tilt sensing, the other has vibration. No cow can have both.
or
You have FIVE HUNDRED AND NINTY-NINE US COWS.

IRC
You have two cows. They get kickb&: No clones.

#soniccenter
You have two cows :o
or
You have two cows. Cherry would rather have a tiger.

3D Sonic Games
You have two cows. There is a secret 'Final Cow' you have yet to unlock.
or
You have two cows. You fall through the floor and die.

Shadow the Hedgehog
You have two cows WITH GUNS.

Facebook
You have been invited to have two cows.

Sonic Heroes
You have three cows. One is really fast, one is really strong and one can fly. Working together they save the world using the power of TEAMWORK.

Final Fantasy
You have up to 99 cows but who knows how the hell you're carrying them all.

Magic: The Gathering
When you play this card from your hand search your library for another Cow and put it into play; you have two cows. Shuffle your library afterward.

Pokemon R/G/B
You have to get 151 cows.

Pokemon Yellow
You have a very annoying cow that makes annoying sounds.

Pokemon G/S/C
You have to get 100 more cows.

Pokemon Adv onward
There are too many cows.

The Legend of Zelda
You have three tri-cows.

I'm done for now. I don't know quite what's going on.

[P.P.A.]

Super Mario Bros.
You have two cows. They're in another castle though.

Michael Jackson
You have two cows. They walk backwards for some reason.
 or
You have two brown cows. They decide they don't want to be brown cows and have over 9000 operations. You now have two zombie cows.

Sonic 06
You have two cows. They stop themselves from ever being born. You have two time paradoxes.

[Spinballwizard]

TSC in General
You have two cows. I CALL BS!

You have two cows that run down the street with only gloves and boots on and destroy cars.

You have two: battle cows, a Dreamcast version and a GameCube version. Each has its own advantages.

Competitive Pokémon
You have two cows. However they don't have the right nature and/or don't have good IV's so you breed them until they do. You have too many cows.

[eggFL]

oh we're making up ones. That's cool. Some good ones here. :]

now I'll do some. umm let's see...

Megaman X6
You have two cows with two frames of animation each. You now have the ability to slash.

Megaman X7
You have two ugly cows. One of them is 2D and the other is 3D. Everyone hates the 3D cow for making the 2D cow look bad. The 3D cow listens to its fans and kills itself. You have one ugly cow.

Megaman X8
You have two cows. They are 2D so you are able to pretend they are as good as the cows you had ten years ago.

Xbox 360
You have two cows that each cost $50 a year to use. One of them eats your game disc, and the other one blows out its power brick.

Halo 3
You have two cows. You get a third cow, and find that it's exactly like the first two cows. But you didn't have a choice because all the other cows on the market suck. Some say that 2007 was the best year in the cow industry, and your cow is named Cow of the Year.

Playstation 3
You are laughed at for having two cows.

Capcom
You have two cows. They don't moo, because only the japanese cows moo. You are content because that's better than them trying to moo in english and screwing it up.

Dead Rising
You have two cows. You can only milk the first cow with your left hand and the second cow with your right hand, because the japanese aren't comfortable with using both hands at the same time.

Mario Sonic Olympics
You have two cows. They go to compete in the olympics. Holy shit, I'm sold.

Sonic Rivals
You have two cows. Neither of them likes Sonic Rivals.

[Selphos]

Now for a really lame and overused joke

Sonic Rivals 2
You have two cows. They hold the RIGHT button, and win the game.


Sorry, I had to post in here eventually. And do you expect me to be creative at 11:44 PM?

[Crowbar]

Another PS3 One
I have 3, cow's.

[ChaoRC]

Now for a really lame and overused joke

Sonic Advance 2
You have two cows. They hold the RIGHT button, and win the game.

Fix'd

[Taillow]

And yea, nice Shadow cow joke, even though it's the exact same joke we all thought of. (edit: oh and it's already been put up)

Way to not read my second edit <_<

[yse]

Pong
You have two cows. They are white, rectangular, completely incapable of lateral movement, and indulge in hitting a square back and forth.

Worms
You have two cows. So does everyone else. And they're all highly explosive. You win. Nobody has any cows.

[Spinballwizard]

More Mario Kart
You have two cows that race each other. The faster one would've won if it weren't for that blue shell.

Sonic 3D Blast
You have two cows. You need five to pass the level.

[Spinballwizard]

This
You have two cow plants.

</stolenfromppa>

...EDIT OMG ANOTHER ONE

PS3
You have two GIANT ENEMY COWS. You attack their weak points for MASSIVE DAMAGE. You have no cows.