I just battled Rolken.Believe it or not, Pokemon is actually decent now.
Up to when I battled him, I was going through the single player mode and having something of a good time, something like the feeling you get knowing no matter what you do you will win. Of course, there's some fun to be had in evolving something or gaining a more powerful move. It makes the opponent's health plummet quickly, which feels good for no real reason. It's monotony, sure, but it's cleverly disguised monotony.
And then I did battle Rolken! Here's an in-depth summary.
Online play is highly tactical, and reminds you that you were just being a chump before and letting your team get by on awesome "the flashing bar goes down by so much" moments. Online opponents switch out Pokemon, and don't offer snappy punchlines to close a battle on. Online opponents talk to you. Online opponents know where you live.
You either use your current levels, a level 50 cap, or a level 100 cap. We choose the level 100 cap. It was a mistake because unevolved pokemon get dwarfed by evolved pokemon they would normally trump. My Alakazam was knocking out other pokemon for no reason. Pokemon it would otherwise never touch. I suggest the level 50 cap; it probably doesn't impose as large a statgap between evolved/unevolved pokemon.
So we started the battle, and tried talking to each other. By which I mean, Rolken tried talking and I barely said anything for fear of being called insane by other people not knowing I'm playing online. The sound quality is poor; it was static-ridden and distorted. At one point, I even heard my pokemon switching out on Rolken's speakers, but that's Rolken's fault for having his speakers on so high and is more about lag than how piss-poor the chat function is. But at least it's there.
Then we started the battle itself, and it was epic. I led with a Buizel, and Rolken came out with a Krickitot. I used swift, and he used...Fury Slash or something similair. Buizel was massacred, with almost no health left. Wanting to get a last strike in, I used Water Gun and Buizel fainted. I'm not sure on Krickitot's stats or Fury Cutter's power, but it seemed like some severe stat bumping was going on.
At this point, I switched to Alakazam. While Fury Cutter would have done massive damage, I confusioned Krickitot, and it fainted.
At this other point here, Rolken brought in his evolvedstarterwhosit, which I countered with a Luxario, which he countered with a geodude, which I countered with an Alakazam. After taking a critical hit from a move, I one hit ko'd the geodude. Stat bumping!
Rolken brought out Starly's level two form. Then I brought out Luxario. Then he switched to Budew for the type advantage. Then I used shock and got its hp down to about 1/5 with an 'it's not very effective' message. After this, I killed it with few problems.
Rolken's next move was to bring out a Luxario of his own. I used Bite, as did Rolken...and I drew the short end of the straw. His Luxario caused mine to flinch. Realizing Luxario was on the verge of fainting, I switched to Machop to counter the inevitable Bite. Machop took little damage. In the hopes of pulling a critical move on Luxario, knowing Machop would likely serve no other purpose in this battle, I used Focus. Rolken hit me with a critical shock before I managed to use Karate Chop. Machop fainted.
Lacking another special attacker with decent health and figuring that Alakazam's speed with a round of confusion would not take down Luxario, I decided to opt for Monferno. They traded blows, and Monferno defeated Luxio, at about half health.
At this point, it was 2 pokemon to 4. Rolken had only starterguy and starlyplus.
He brought in starlyplus, who took down Monferno with a critical hit of quick attack.
I used Luxario to try for the ko. It was defeated by wing attack before it used shock.
Then I tried Starly, who I figured was good for at least two turns. On the first I used double team in the off chance his attacks would miss. On the second, I used quick attack, and he used wing attack. Wing attack did not miss.
With only Alakazam left, neither of us knew what would happen. On the one hand, Alakazam did crazy damage, but on the other its defense sucked and Starlyplus was a heavy attacker. Whoever won this match up would win the battle because his starterguy wasn't in prime condition and Alakazam was faster. Wing attack was used by Starlyplus, and Confusion by Alakazam. Confusion slowly etched away starlyplus' health because of a bit of lag...and left him with 4 hp. I kid you not. Wing attack did just enough damage to get me in the red. Starlyplus used quick attack next turn, and the battle ended.
Sort of makes me wish I used Quick Attack with Starly on that last one. No idea what I was doing there.
Best. Match. Ever.
