Oh man. I can be immortalised on the internet again.
You know, I'm a good writer. I promise. You can tell this from my stylistic posts. I demand to start off as what seems to be the main villain, but then everyone realizes that although my methods are questionable I am in fact attempting to defeat the real bad fellow. This is preceded by an epic boss battle in which I am overpowered for that point in the game, with powerleveling being one of the only feasible ways to consistantly defeat me. At this point, I join the party with less godlike powers. But, mind you, these powers are still very godlike, and I wind up being useful for the remainder of the game, being a critical part of any standard RPG power team. Oh wait, maximum 4 members. If I'm not included, I would like to be the final boss.
Appearance: Tall and skinny with flowing brown hair (yes, flowing!) in nonsensical curls, a very large and magestic looking jacket, silver shoes with gold laces, and blue jeans.
Personality: Overly arrogant but undoubtedly talented both physically and mentally, detached, most amusing in spurts with callous comic relief, reserved in spite of a clear willingness to participate, contradictary, anti-culture, elitist, and apathetic exept in defense of self.
Weapon of choice: Hammerclaw!
Attacks: Hammer, Terminal Blows (probably something lame like an upgraded version of the standard attack of hammer which attacks all party members), Power of Suggestion (a move in which a given opponent feels most insecure about themselves, and takes time to contemplate their present state, forcing them to skip a turn), FormFit (that is, morphing into a given party member with better stats), Overwork (think of this: a move whereby you reduce your health to one, but get an autorevive if ko'd at a good deal of your original health. How delightfully broken!), Propogate (this is of course something with an effect similair to a 1.5 multiplier on melee or magical attacks for a party member of your choice), Grey Hat (Sacrifice a party member to increase strength in battle by 2x your normal strength-combine with Overwork and use it on self repeatedly for a most powerful combination, unless the given enemy has a Break-like move available, nullifying any godlike bonuses), and of course Anti-Group (in which you take, say, a fourth of the hp of each member of your party and deal that damage to a given monster-combined with Grey Hat, this should kill the final boss in a maximum of 4 turns). Of course, as in real life I am physically weak, but very fast and highly intelligent (does saying this make it more true than it isn't?), making me an ideal spellcaster or early attacker.
Catchphrase and other common sayings: "Oh, ok", "I completely agree", "Your logic, methods, morals, and ideas are all sound, but you're still wrong", "I just thought of something so clever and witty that saying it would cheapen its value" and so on.
Of course, I break the game, so I'd probably need some toning down before my addition.
As mentioned, I demand at least boss status-at which point I would like to join the party, but if need be I will not, at which point late-game "most hated battle in the game" status is mandatory.. If I am somehow the final boss, above the main villain and not part of the group, then there should be a hilarious line in which I inform everyone how I ship large ammounts of bottle caps to the recycling plant and throw out plastic bottles because recycling is worse for the environment (it takes more energy to reprocess plastic than it does to let it sit there, thereby contributing to some ghastly cataclysm or another, and that even if it didn't, someone would throw out recyclable materials anyway, which would mean that all that energy was used for nothing). It is also possible for me to be a recurring and sinister townsman, and as an NPC I would say "Damnit, I better not be cast as an NPC" in several variations. This would mean I posess some knowledge crucial to the defeat of the main enemy, who is apparently not myself, and that the player would need to search for me and bring me an item to appease my ego. This is done by going into the future with a time machine item and showing me my wikipedia entry, in which I become noteworthy for several things, among them inventing a time machine. Then, I give the party their bit of valuable information or powerful weapon/spell/final skills, and reverse engineer the time machine, inventing it, starting an international chain of shops selling powerful equipment and such for ridiculously high prices, unless you hijack my cargo on my boats. At this point, I bestow upon you very valuable items. Then you fight the final boss. Who in this scenario is not me.
Savy?
