[yse]

Ya rly, folks.

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

(I posted this in the chat earlier today, but I wanted to put it here so everyone got to see it.)

[PsyBorg]

This guy is really creative. It gave me a good laugh.


Seriously, though, why would this be on an exam?

[eggFL]

Why is that question on a mid-term? Do people go to school to learn actual knowledge or be shitted around with mini-games and riddles? What's the purpose of this question. Someone must have been bored and thought it was cute. There's no right answer to that question and it's outrageous to tease students with points awarded selectively. Or is the point of this question to reward creativeness or inventive thinking? In other words, thinking of cheap comedic answers like this one.

[General Throatstomper]

It was funnier when I saw it in a Bash quote a year ago.

And even then, it was only worthy of a brief raising of the eyebrows.

[Spinballwizard]

In short, yes. Creative/inventive/logical thinking.

That is pro. Though I'm surprised there isn't an ongoing lawsuit for bringing matters of religion into a science class.

[Shadow Wedge]

Please note, eggFL, that that is a bonus question. And as such it is still possible to get 100% without needing to get that one right. Also, it was funnier on bash.org a year ago :x

[eggFL]

I know it's a bonus question, but you're still giving points for it. You're selectively picking out which of the dumb answers that students wasted time answering, and awarding them points based on which answers are more 'hay thats clever lol' to you. This email isn't even funny.

[Spinballwizard]

Way to say exactly what Dale said, SWedge. :x

[PsyBorg]

Way to say exactly what Dale said, SWedge. :x

I may be dumb for asking this, but who is dale?

[Bilan]

Dale=genus

[General Throatstomper]

Time to refer to myself in the third person!

Dale=genus=SuDont=slim=blueblaze=DaleG=DaleG491=BannanaCat=AppleChicken=massdecoder12=finishingblow=themastersmasherofss=sonichedgehog=mrgenesis=blueninja=ixilite4

A written deevolution of most of the non-embarrasing and non-incriminating nicks that I've used. I would only post once or twice somewhere before leaving. Until I found TSC.

And now that you know my secret, you must die.

[maggot]

I read that e-mail in a site some time ago.
Not bad. Once I tried to do something like that in a test, but I got a big 0 :(