TSC FAKE CHAT #4 (or, The One
I Promised I’d Never Do)
A quick disclaimer: This fake chat has precisely nothing to do with the Conventional Trilogy. It may reference events from those chats, though. And possibly others.
Prologue: Dark times have fallen upon TSC. For the past month, none of the three admins have been sighted. Rolken made a brief return yesterday to announce that a new admin would be elected to steer TSC through this phase. Who did TSC nominate to lead it through these dark times?
…
CherryMay.
This is where our story begins…
* Now talking in #soniccenter
* Topic is “The Dead
Centre – http://www.soniccenter.org/
- Where our admins have deserted us :( | Word of the
day: abandon | Cherry is our new admin! Stay in line or she’ll feed you to her
tiger :(
* Set by CherryMay on Mon Jan 15 21:24:00
* ChanBot
sets mode: +a mike89
<mike89> oh, I see we have a winner! Congratulations!
<Stefan> yeah
<Stefan> I voted for you :(
<mike89> I don’t think you were supposed to say that >_>
<CherryMay> hi mike!
<ShadowJacky> hey mike
<mike89> hey SJ/cherry
<mike89> so yeah cherry what are you actually doing as admin
<CherryMay> nothing.
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<sonicandamy> hi
* CherryMay
sets mode: +b *sonicandamy*@*
* sonicandamy was kicked by CherryMay
(well, maybe a little.)
<mike89> heh
<CherryMay> I’ve got access to the PHP admin stuff and all that but you can bet I won’t be using any of it XD
<F-Man> but cherry! It’s so easy to use!
<F-Man> all you have to do is click “Mark All” then “D’elete”!
<mike89> wrong fake chat >_>
<F-Man> er, whoops
<F-Man> never mind that
* F-Man whistles and
begins the SA TAS
<F-Man> expect updates :o
<mike89> :o.
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<GerbilSoft> why was gerbilegg disconnected
<mike89> no idea :o
<GerbilSoft> oh well
<GerbilSoft> next update in 3 minutes
<ShadowJacky> should be a new record from me in there
<F-Man> 17”66 Chaos 0
<F-Man> I think I can beat that
<GerbilEgg>
*** New Record: Shadow Jacky got 2:29:78 on Sonic Heroes / Times /
<GerbilEgg>
*** New Record: eredani got 2:26:21 on Sonic Heroes /
Times /
<ShadowJacky> damn!
<GerbilEgg> *** New Record: CherryMay got 296 on Sonic 2 / Rings / Emerald Hill 1 / Sonic
<mike89> WHAT
<mike89> CHERRY SUBMITTED
<Quartz> BLASPHEMY!
<CherryMay> yea.
<CherryMay> how’s that.
<Quartz> It’s… well, unexpected to say the least
<mike89> I AM IN A STATE OF… SOMEBODY FINISH THIS SENTENCE FOR ME
<Zeph> inability to turn caps lock off?
<mike89> precisely.
<CherryMay> I feel as though seeing as how I’m running the show for now I may as well get involved a little.
<Zeph> :o.
<mike89> sounds reasonable
<RPG> I’ve been working on FF-S, I reckon it can go to 2:20
<RPG> Also woah CHERRY SUBMITTED??
<CherryMay> yea.
<mike89> RPG what are you doing playing Sonic Heroes.
<MK> RPG the first step is admitting you have a problem
<RPG> stfu
* RPG goes back to
work on it
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sets mode: +v yoshifan
<yoshifan> something seems to be wrong with TSC…
<mike89> if it’s about cherry submitting, we know
<yoshifan> oh, you’re aware of the 0-point situation?
<mike89> …0 points?
<yoshifan> yeah, it lists CherryMay with 0 points
<yoshifan> …oh, that might explain it
<yoshifan> her time-sheet is solid platinum
<ShadowJacky> o_O
<RPG> WHAT
<Zeph> …:O
<Quartz> GERBILEGG!!
<Quartz> SAVE IT BEFORE IT SELF DESTRUCTS!
<GerbilEgg>
*** New Record: CherryMay got 1:38:89 on Sonic Adventure
2 (B) / Times / City Escape /
<GerbilEgg>
*** New Record: CherryMay got 0:22:34 on Sonic Adventure
2 (B) / Times / City Escape /
* mike89
sets mode: +b *GerbilEgg*@*
* GerbilEgg
was kicked by mike89 (PRE-EMPTIVE FLOOD KICK)
<GerbilSoft> fu
<GerbilSoft> unban gerbilegg plz
<CherryMay> oh, er, did I say a little? I meant a lot!
<mike89> cherry you know just because you’re the new admin doesn’t mean you can just post heaps of fake times
<CherryMay> actually, I’ve just been stockpiling times under the premise of never wanting to TA for about three years now
<CherryMay> I could prove them if you like
<GerbilSoft> unban gerbilegg plz
<Zeph> sure, I’m interested
<RPG> :o.
<genus> did you use box boosting?
<CherryMay> …
<GerbilSoft> unban gerbilegg plz :(
<CherryMay> however did you guess?
<mike89> OH ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT
* mike89
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* GerbilSoft
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* mike89
sets mode: -b *GerbilEgg*@*
<CherryMay> www.soniccenter.org/cherry/proof.avi
<Zeph> wow… everything checks out…
<genus> wait, what?
<genus> something I made up was useful?
<Quartz> So you admit you made it up?
<genus> yes. We settled this a year ago.
<genus> where have you been.
<Zeph> Pay attention, Quartz! >_>
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<stanski> Just when I thought I had a hold on Sonic 2…
<stanski> CherryMay comes along and takes every record!
<mike89> um, what?
<mike89> another one?
<CherryMay> stanski check out www.soniccenter.org/cherry/proof.avi
<Zeph> um, isn’t that the one you gave us for SA2?
<stanski> it explains every sonic 2 record… these strats beat me into the ground…
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<stanski> I therefore announce my retirement from sonic 2 competition, effective immediately
<Rayku> well while there’s retirements going on…
<Rayku> I’m retiring again
<Rayku> but not before I post one last time
<Rayku> check out Green Hill in five minutes
<Taco> yeah I’m retiring too
<Taco> I’ll never pick up advance 2 or 3 again
<cybrax> im rterniig as wlel
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<sonicam> I’ve got an announcement to make…
<mike89> are you retiring?
<sonicam> …How’d you guess?
<mike89> call it instinct.
<sonicam> Well I’m off, to make better use of my time. :D
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<Stefan> I wonder what he’s doing
<Zeph> well it’s obvious, he’s…
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<Zeph> oh, fine. :/
<Zeph> oh, by the way, anyone checked out Site Champions lately?
<mike89> no?
<Zeph> well… I suggest you do.
<RPG> WTF WTF WTF
<RPG> ALL TWENTY SIX?!?
<CherryMay> may I again redirect you to www.soniccenter.org/cherry/proof.avi
<yoshifan> I’m getting a 404 there
<Zeph> same.
<F-Man> got Chaos 0 down to 17”33 :D
<F-Man> also I’m retiring too </late>
<mike89> what.
<mike89> !quote 3
<Zeph> …GerbilEgg isn’t here…
<mike89> oh damnit
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<GerbilSoft> there we go
<mike89> !quote 3
<GerbilEgg> Quote: 3 --> <mike89> I CALL BS!
<mike89> much better.
<GerbilEgg>
*** New Record: Rayku got 0:25:00 on Sonic Adventure 2
(B) / Times / Green Hill /
<mike89> whoa, I nearly forgot
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<GerbilSoft> anyway, Sega’s called a press conference
<GerbilSoft> to be held at 8pm EST
<Zeph> that’s 15 minutes from now!
<Stefan> :O
<GerbilSoft> nobody knows what it regards yet
<Spinballwizard> Well
<Spinballwizard> That’s not entirely true.
<Spinballwizard> TSS is claiming inside info on this announcement:
<Spinballwizard>
“The announcement, to be made by Sega at 8pm EST, is widely tipped to reveal
that Sega will re-enter the console market with a new system, the
<Spinballwizard> “Expected to be announced is backwards compatibility with all previous Sega consoles.”
<GerbilSoft> what
<GerbilSoft> backwards compatible with Dreamcast -and- Genesis?
<mike89> *MegaDrive
<GerbilSoft> whatever
<Spinballwizard> Additionally
<Spinballwizard> “TSS will be running a live-blog on the event.”
<Spinballwizard> :O
* Spinballwizard
logs on
<Spinballwizard> Eh, it’s not really worth it.
<Spinballwizard> [7:45 PM]: No appearance from any Sega reps as yet. We think we saw someone in a Sonic suit walk past, but that may have just been a hallucination.
<Spinballwizard> [7:46 PM]: Still nothing.
<Spinballwizard> [7:47 PM]: STILL nothing.
<Spinballwizard> I mean geez what do they expect?
<F-Man> knocked it down to 17”06!!
<F-Man> ok seriously time for emerald coast now
<mike89> so er
<mike89> while we’ve got a bit of time
<mike89> cherry explain yourself.
<CherryMay> www.soniccenter.org/cherry/proof.avi
<RPG> We’ve already established there’s nothing there.
<CherryMay> …
<CherryMay> have you even seen it.
<RPG> It’s a bit hard, given I keep getting 404s
<CherryMay> your problem not mine.
<stanski> on that note, I’m not really retiring, there was nothing in that video that I didn’t already know
<stanski> by which I mean, there was nothing in it.
<mike89> what, so there is no video at all? I never even checked XD
<Zeph> pretty much.
<RPG> see, they were just taking the piss.
<RPG> You lose.
<RPG> Also
<RPG> You lose.
<RPG> Did I mention
<RPG> You lose?
* RPG was kicked by
hanashi.surrealchat.net (Flooding (Limit is 5 lines per 10 seconds))
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<Spinballwizard> [7:50 PM]: I saw someone! No, wait, it was just a Sony rep. Did someone say Ridge Racer?
<GerbilSoft> RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDGE RAAAAAAAAAACER
<mike89> have I mentioned how lame TSS are?
<Spinballwizard> Only that they can’t play.
<Spinballwizard> …:O
<Spinballwizard> [7:51 PM]: We’ve decided to play some of the better Sonic games to pass the remaining nine minutes. I’ve picked up Green Hill from Sonic 1, while my partner has decided to play Mad Space from Sonic Adventure 2. My best effort on act 1 so far is 29 seconds… Did you know you get a 50000 point time bonus for that?
<RPG> XD
<Spinballwizard> There you have it, folks. Definitive proof that TSS can’t play. (As if we didn’t have enough already.)
<GerbilSoft> since when was SA2 one of the better Sonic games?
<Spinballwizard> And that TSS have bad taste in games. I mean, they gave Heroes 10/10!?!
<RPG> lol.
<Spinballwizard> [7:52 PM]: My partner just managed to complete Mad Space mission 2 in 2:27:35. That’s an A-rank!
<mike89> how’s that fare on TSC’s charts?
<Zeph> 59/64
<RPG> hah
<Spinballwizard> You know, we should really put them out of their misery.
<RPG> Would they check any email addresses during the live blog?
<Spinballwizard> Worth a shit.
<Spinballwizard> *shot >_>
<Zeph> !quote 11
<GerbilEgg> Quote: 11 --> <ShadowJacky> worth a shit
<ShadowJacky> lol
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<flyby> bad news guys :(
<Zeph> what is it :(
<flyby> rolken and I are no longer together :(
<RPG> what?!
<RPG> when did this happen :(
<flyby> just today
<flyby> its so depressing :(
<Spinballwizard> [7:56 PM] Almost ready! Iizuka has taken his place, and we’re just waiting on his translator so he can make the announcement in a language we can understand.
<Spinballwizard> also :(
<F-Man> preliminary EC time: 1:03:21
<F-Man> also :(
<Zeph> D:
<Spinballwizard> This one’s for you, RPG.
<Spinballwizard>
[7:58 PM]: We’ve just received an email from Anonymous from the
<Spinballwizard> “I happen to have a time of 25 seconds for Green Hill 1, and under 16 seconds for Mad Space mission 2. And the fact that you had never seen a 50000 point time bonus just sickens me. I’ve seen time bonuses as high as 300000! Stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it!
<Spinballwizard> Sincerely,
<Spinballwizard> Anonymous.”
<Spinballwizard> Time bonuses of 300000? We’ll just see about that.
<Zeph> Is that an oxymoron?
<genus> possibly.
<Spinballwizard> [7:59 PM] The speculation ends now! A huge announcement is just around the corner…
* Spinballwizard
hedging bets on an anticlimax like “lol matrix
online”
<flyby> what is going on
<GerbilSoft> Sega’s making a HUEG announcement
<flyby> ok
<Spinballwizard> [8:00 PM] This has caught everyone off guard! The announcement is as follows: “Sega would like to thank its loyal customers for purchasing our products over the last 20 years, but we wish to announce that the upcoming Sonic game, Sonic Last, will be Sega’s last console game. From here on it will focus on the far more profitable pachinko market.”
<mike89> YES
<mike89> ABOUT TIME!
<mike89> this is Sonic’s saviour, I know it!
<RPG> :O?
<mike89> well, think about it.
<mike89> Square did this with final fantasy
<mike89> if they let the public know in advance, then they’ll be keen to buy it because it’ll be the end of the series
<mike89> and -perhaps- since Sega know this is the last outing, they’ll do a half decent job of it
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<egg> so have we all heard the big news
<Spinballwizard> Sure have
<egg> this only further serves to prove that Mario will be on xbox within two years
<RPG> what.
<egg> well, think about it
<egg> without sonic as an adversary, Mario will crumble and die on Nintendo
<egg> then they’ll be bought out by Microsoft when nintendo’s profits fall apart
<mike89> we’ve been over this before
<mike89> Nintendo has never made a loss in a quarter
<egg> well obviously they will soon, law of averages
<mike89> …
<RPG> …
<Spinballwizard> [8:05 PM]: We asked Iizuka whether you can get a 300000 point time bonus as mentioned in an email earlier. It turns out Iizuka has no recollection of any game giving that much time bonus. And you’d think he’d know best. So, Anonymous, consider yourself served.
<RPG> boo
<Spinballwizard> RPG, you can’t expect TSS to know about time bonuses that high. We all know they can’t play.
* CherryMay
sets mode: +b *egg*@*
* egg
was kicked by CherryMay (troll.)
<RPG> hey hey HEY
<RPG> We’re not finished with you.
<mike89> yeah tell us what happened with the whole “lol I got every record on the site” thing
<CherryMay> I don’t have to answer to you, I’m the admin of the site!
<flyby> later kids :(
<CherryMay> and seeing as how I have the admin password, I can delete the whole thing!
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sets mode: +q Rolken
<CherryMay> that’ll teach rolken to make me admin!
<CherryMay> er, hi rolken!
<Rolken> WHAT’S GOING ON HERE.
<mike89> <CherryMay> and seeing as how I have the admin password, I can delete the whole thing!
<Rolken> >:(
* Rolken
change admin password
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<Kitsune> CHERRY!
<Kitsune> <3<3<3
<Kitsune> you’re admin these days? I luv girls with power ;);)
<Rolken> she won’t have any power much longer >:(
<Kitsune> why are you being mean to cherry :(
<Rolken> cause she nearly deleted three years of TSC perhaps :x
<Kitsune> You’re lying!
<Rolken> I could say the same about you
<genus> <Rolken> A certain level of intelligence is required to become a member here
<genus> and we all know Kitsune’s post count matches his IQ
<Rolken> you’re not suggesting that’s true for everyone, are you?
<genus> maybe I am.
* Kitsune
has quit IRC (Quit: fly away with me cherry~)
<RPG> Damn I must be smrt then
<RPG> …
<RPG> S-M-R-T
<RPG> I mean S-M-A-R-T
<mike89> heh.
<Rolken> okay cherry
<Rolken> for attempting to delete my site
<Rolken> you win the prize!
<Rolken> speculation for a minute before I reveal what it is
<mike89> a date with kitsune?
<GerbilSoft> a ban?
<RPG> A highly brutal murder?
<genus> a lingering johninated
<mike89> …wtf?
<Rolken> lol.
<Rolken> unfortunately gerbil wins :(
<Rolken> the obvious answer is always the best folks
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has quit IRC (Quit: sneaky exit~)
<Rolken> …
* Rolken
sets mode: +b *CherryMay*@*
<Rolken> we now return to scheduled programming.
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<Rolken> or, perhaps we don’t
<Kitsune> :(
<Kitsune> where is my love, cherry :(
<Rolken> would you like to join her?
<Kitsune> would I!!
* Rolken
sets mode: +b *Kitsune*@*
* Kitsune
was kicked by Rolken (your wish is my command)
<Rolken> oh man that was too easy.
<Spinballwizard> [8:15 PM]: So there we have it. After the release of Sonic Last, Sonic will never make another appearance. Here’s hoping Sega send Sonic off in the best possible fashion… with a good game.
<Spinballwizard> Hey, what do you know. Maybe TSS really do realise that Sonic’s last few outings have actually sucked.
<Spinballwizard> However, I see no apologies for misleading the public earlier regarding a re-entry to the console market.
<F-Man> EC 1:02:96!
<RPG> :O gj
<Rolken> what’s this, SBW?
<Spinballwizard> Basically, Sega called a press conference, TSS claimed to “know” that Sega were announcing a return to the console market, but instead they just said that this coming Sonic game will be the last.
<Rolken> …they actually committed to it being the last game?
<Rolken> thank goodness
<Rolken> also lol at TSS
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<Spinballwizard> And all is right in the world again.
<Spinballwizard> On that note, I’m going
<Rolken> bye sbw~
<Spinballwizard> But wait! There’s more!
<Spinballwizard> [8:17 PM]: Our anonymous emailer has returned… here goes:
<Spinballwizard> “Perhaps you ‘avid fans’ don’t recall the Game Gear games? Perhaps you should check this video out and tell me that there’s no 300000 time bonus: http://www.gdward.plus.com/site/avi/s2ms-sh2.avi
<Spinballwizard> So, TSS and Sega, consider YOURSELVES served.
<Spinballwizard> Regards,
<Spinballwizard> Anonymous.”
<Spinballwizard> Well, he was right. But let this not take away from the magnitude of this announcement!
<mike89> heh RPG that was awesome
<RPG> X)
<Spinballwizard> And now I really go.
* Spinballwizard
has quit IRC (Quit: This is supposed to be witty, but mike’s wit leaves a lot
to be desired. X))
<mike89> hey hey HEY
<mike89> he’ll be hearing about that in the morning
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<mike89> you must be getting sick of this
<mike89> you missed out on all the fun again!
<sonicam> What happened this time?
<mike89> well lets see…
* mike89 scrollup
<mike89> well, F-Man started on the SA TAS
<sonicam> :o
<F-Man> btw EC down to 1’02”61
<mike89> Cherry was promoted to admin, claimed every record and was banned in a very short time span
<sonicam> Cherry’s banned? :D
<mike89> Sega announced one last Sonic game
<mike89> and rolk and flyby split up :(
<sonicam> D:
<Zeph> Hang on a second!
<Zeph> What -were- you doing when you left earlier?
<sonicam> Why do you ask? :o
<Zeph> <Stefan> I wonder what he’s doing
<Zeph> <Zeph> well it’s obvious, he’s…
<Zeph> * Zeph was kicked by mike89 (DON’T RUIN IT DAMNIT!)
<sonicam> lol, I blame mike’s fake chat humour
<mike89> >_>
<Zeph> so clearly mike knew something important
<mike89> I know nothing!
<Rolken> !addquote <mike89> I know nothing!
<GerbilEgg> Rolken: Quote added with id: 175
<Rolken> >_> <_<
<mike89> bastard.
<mike89> so anyway
<mike89> I dunno what it could be… :o
<sonicam> Well…
<sonicam> I went to a party. :o
<Zeph> …that’s it?
<sonicam> Yeah. :o
<mike89> darn anticlimaxes
<mike89> I was hoping for something big there
<genus> did someone say anticlimax?
<Zeph> no.
<genus> oh, ok
<Rolken> also we are not split up :(
<mike89> you’re not split up at all?
<Rolken> I insisted that this chat have a dramatic moment followed by a good ending.
<mike89> ah.
<mike89> all’s well that ends well I suppose.
* mike89 had better
get going
<Rolken> seeya :o
<sonicam> Bye mike.
<RPG> Not before I get my monologue in!
<RPG> So basically
<RPG> I pwn right.
* mike89 has quit IRC
(Quit: No monologue for you!)
That’s all for this fake chat.
Well, except the commentary.